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Thursday, June 16, 2016

Why Mean Girls Don't Matter

Guilt knocked at the door when I didn't cry for my crying child.

Yes, the girl accused you of being rude and snotty.

Yes, you can be rude and snotty.

No, rude and snotty are not a part of your identity.

Yes, it will still hurt and confuse you when it happens.

Tonight in a supervised atmosphere my daughter admitted to hiding and crying after being hurt by someone that she encounters often.  Now I know that I've used the term mean girl, but I really don't believe there are that many mean girls out there.  For the most part, it is simply someone finding someone else that can bear the brunt of what they themselves don't feel they can bear.  This girl in particular has a large weight on her shoulders.  Middle child, a favored younger sister that she cares for, older brother that she has to listen to, even when his issues are ruling.  In the middle of moving homes.  Trying to figure out who she is.  There is a lot going on.

And Rosalinda IS strong.  She CAN handle a lot.  She was made to be HIS hero.  So it makes sense that the girl would find Rosalinda as someone that she can dump on to feel some relief in herself.  Saying the things that she can't get away with telling her family.

Am I saying that this girl doesn't matter?  No.  Am I saying that this girl's behavior doesn't matter?  No, Am I saying that Rosalinda is wrong to be affected by her?  Maybe.  Am I taking measures to have it addressed?  Very much so!  But it still doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter because we're not given allowance for it to matter as extensions of Christ.

It is so very interesting that during her practice, the very time that she was encountering this girl and enduring this situation, I had texted her Romans 12.16

Starting early on, Rosalinda became aware that she was responsible for herself.  I remember older woman being so guilt-stricken when they would give my three year old an innocent piece of candy or treat and she would get in trouble if it met her mouth.  I never discouraged her from receiving blessings, but she was old enough to know that she needed to seek permission before eating anything.
Same principle applies.  Even when something said or done finds a wound, you are still responsible for yourself.  You are still responsible to investigate why it hurt.  Whether there is an opportunity to grow in what they say.  But always being ready to adjust yourself in righteousness.

So it does not matter that she hurt your feelings.  You are still called to love and serve her in His love!

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